This is the moment you’ve all been waiting for*: My first book, How not to become a supermodel,It is currently reserved accepted! here!
This is a book that you can actually pick up. Or, if you prefer my sweet tones, listen with your ears. You have loved my revealing life updates over the years and have eagerly read my tales of harrowing farce (when I accidentally cut myself under the bath faucet). Remember when I almost got penetrated?): Now it’s time to show you everything. Back in 2001. Back then, I dropped out of my law degree and became a rich and famous supermodel just because of a gaffe.
You can call me. How not to become a supermodel This is a memoir. She writes about herself, her memories, and her experiences as a fashion model in the 1990s. God That sounds very serious. “Memoir” makes it sound as if I wrote a book about him in the 1800s. In the drawing room, her mother was pricking her with needles and Eliza was practicing the piano.
And I’d like to ask you this: Does your memoir include a story about inadvertently going on a 5-day luxury vacation with a man you don’t know? Memoirs usually have chapters like this: do you have? Body like an erect penis? Or – hold on while I strum my notes – I’m drunk and I’m not wearing knickers? No, it’s not.
So, yes, I wrote this about me, and yes, it’s set in the past, but don’t think like what painful soul-searching went into this book. Make sure you don’t mistake the end of the stick here. I didn’t write this while periodically sobbing into a starched linen handkerchief, rubbing my eyes when it became too much to bear. This is a tear-jerking romp through a decade of impossible scenarios and shocking events. People who aren’t supermodels have thrown up, and it’s chaotic, botched, funny, and often ridiculous.
Pre-order How Not to Become a Supermodel
Yes, there are some emotional moments. Of course there is. In fact, when I got the book deal, I was specifically asked to include some topical parts. (As if me accidentally getting caught up in an impromptu sex show and nearly falling into shark-infested waters weren’t buzz enough.) And yes, I’m only the hard part. I also included all the important parts. You could be embarrassed by spitting out your coffee on public transport.
But mostly, this is a snotty, very accurate explanation of how I never became a supermodel**. My obvious physical flaws, character flaws, and my amazing ability to attract chaos and disaster into almost any situation.
You can pre-order How not to become a supermodel The release date is August 29th. Although it has already been foretold, The only book you should read this year!*** So I think you’ll love it. Apparently pre-orders are very important, so if you only click on one link I’ve posted, click this one. I will be in your debt forever.
Pre-order your copy of How not to become a supermodel here
I’ll be posting more about this book and my writing process soon. Because honestly, this book was the best and most satisfying thing I’ve done in my adult life. If you’ve been following me for a while, you’ll know that writing was something I started doing at the end of my modeling career. Blogging was a very happy accident that led to something great. It has led to me having a successful and rewarding career in social media, but for a very long time I have been busy with book deals****. It truly is a “full circle” moment for me.
*If you’re lucky
**As accurate as possible. Mostly accurate. It’s somewhat accurate.
***As it is still too early to quote from other writers, I had no choice but to provide this quote myself. We tried to keep it understated and classy.
****To be honest, that’s how many people I’ve had to sleep with.
